Survey Two - as filled out by Zoe O'Brien
NAME : The Great Zed
AGE: Modern
LOCATION: in my body
HEIGHT: not quite tall enough to reach the top shelf
EYE COLOR: white and dark blue and black with gold speckles
FAVORITE RELATIVES: Immediate
WHAT WILL YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THIS YEAR?
Taking time to stop and eat the roses.
MEMORY YOU MISS THE MOST : My sweet, careless youth.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUIJA BOARDS?: They should be burnt.
GUYS, WITH OR WITHOUT HATS: No hat unless there's a war on so then a
helmet would be a good choice so his brains wouldn't get blown out.
GIRLS, WITH OR WITHOUT NAIL POLISH: The colour must be ugly.
FAVORITE TV SHOWS: Simpsons, Red Dwarf, the Test Pattern, the Static Show
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: There is no mousepad! I must've eaten it!
IN THE CAR, AC OR OPEN WINDOWS: Open windows. You can yell stuff out
them much better.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: How do I know?
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Full contact chess. Or slam dance poker.
FAVORITE DRINK: Duck egg nog with goat milk.
DRINKS, WITH OR WITHOUT ICE: Ice, ice baby...go away.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Pain relief.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Riding backwards on the train.
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Carve my tombstone.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: Grosse Point Blank or the Yellow Submarine
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?:
Oh, God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? In cars when reading. Sometimes on the
space shuttle when I'm steering towards earth for re-entry.
ROLLER COASTERS- DEADLY OR EXCITING? Deadly. And sick. So many false
teeth under the rails. And whiskey bottles from the operator.
PEN OR PENCIL? A sharp stick and some soot.
FAVORITE AUTHOR: William Gibson, Anne McCaffery, Douglas Adams, CS Lewis, Phone Book Guy
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? 33 and 1/3
FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAMES : Cassia, Ivy, Fern, Hazel
FUTURE SONS' NAMES: Reinard, Eddie, Vinny, Johnny
ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND?: Ask my enemies.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA CAKE?: White chocolate.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? I like to drive people insane.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: No, but a couple of plush koalas
bears are near my head. Sometimes they suffocate me. I try to pretend
I'm in Australia.
THUNDERSTORMS- COOL OR SCARY?: Cool until the lightening hits my
house and fries the electrical circuitry.
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD, WHO WOULD IT BE? My true self. Mwa hah hah.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? A surf company t-shirt, flannel pants, and
a wool sweater. Sometimes my decontamination suit and a shark cage.
DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI? HOw else could I pretend they were little trees?
IF YOU COULD STREAK IN FRONT OF ONE PERSON'S HOUSE, WHOSE HOUSE WOULD
IT BE? Yes, I'd streak my hair red and gold and use their garden hose to rinse out the extra dye.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY OCCUPATION WHEN YOU GET OLDER, WHAT WOULD IT
BE? Writer. That or Empress of Narnia and the Lone Islands. By the way, how much older do you mean?
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ONE COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Translucent.
IF YOU COULD TURN INTO ANY ANIMAL, REAL OR IMAGINARY, WHAT WOULD IT
BE? Punk rock rhythm guitarist...heh heh
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BRAND OF GUM? Eucaplyptus.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Is this like "in jail"?
WHAT'S ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM? Drywall filler, pictures,
paintings, dead bugs, graffiti, posters, a tapestry, 6 calenders,
shelves, tie die cloth, a filled in hole, etc.
IS THE GLASS HALF-FULL OR HALF-EMPTY? Half arsed.
PICK A SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOURSELF OR THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO:
Lost In The Supermarket (The Clash) or I Am The Walrus (The Beatles). I get lost a lot in the supermarket and make walrus noises.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SNAPPLE? Fire
FAVORITE MOVIE(S): VCR Cleaning Tape
WHICH ONE, COKE OR PEPSI? Jolt Cola!
WHICH KIND OF MILK IS YOUR FAVORITE? Goat milk. Or fermented horse milk.
IF YOU WERE TO KILL SOMEONE, WHAT METHOD WOULD YOU USE? Ignoring
them.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY OR A LEFTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous but I can only write well right and play hockey well left.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Mostly.
WHEN YOU MEET A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, YOU FIRST NOTICE THEIR : visible mutations
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ATTACKED BY A BIG DOG? Well, my swimming teacher held my head under the water when I was 7.
DO YOU EAT CHICKEN FINGERS WITH A FORK? Chickens don't have fingers.
If they did, I wouldn't eat them with a fork. In fact, I wouldn't eat
them at all.
DO YOU WASH YOUR FEET AT NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED? No, I soak them
in sulphuric acid and then sandpaper them off.
WHAT KIND OF CORN WOULD YOU WANT TO BE (EAR OF CORN, CANNED CORN,
>ETC): Radioactive mutant corn of death.
WHICH DO YOU PREFER, MUD WRESTLING OR Jell-O WRESTLING? Napalm
wrestling.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Books and shoes and a dumb white cat. And the entire country of Luxemborg.
WHAT'S THE BEST NUMBER IN THE WORLD? 999 or 911 or that pizza place
B a c k